When Life Happens and Leaves Us Partially Blind

IMG_0052This is Loo. She is a purebred Shih Tzu from a “designer” pet store here in the midwest. She came fully loaded with a chip so we could track her. She came with “official papers” to prove her lineage. We paid top dollar for Loo. This once-perfect dog has become a representation of my life!

When my ex-husband and I decided it was the right time to adopt a dog, we had researched for months to find the perfect breed. We wanted a non-allergenic dog that wasn’t a barker, that was kid-friendly and that would be ok with cats or hamsters in the house. We decided on a Shih Tzu. 

We jointly named her as we had done all things together. My ex had lived in Waterloo and we decided we’d name our dog “Loo” after his hometown. The name fit her perfectly (except on those rare occasions when the vet called her “Low”). 

This affectionate, top-dollar, lovable dog represented my life. I seemingly had it all — a husband, two beautiful daughters, and a home on a golf-course lot. It was the “top of the line” as far as I was concerned. 

But sometimes life happens and leaves us partially blind.

My marriage wasn’t as perfect, I’m the first to admit, but we always survived. We struggled with the pain that infertility brought into our marriage. We teeter tottered back and forth between different religions. We had a different set of values that became apparent when life’s BIG decisions had to be made. We remained together.

But one day, after 20 years of marriage, I was attacked. Just like Loo’s encounter  — the attack came from what I thought was friendly territory. I learned I was not safe on my own turf. I was betrayed, injured, torn apart and it was painful.

There’s so much more to tell of this story, but the end result has been the same … life goes on … if only with one eye. God was there to pick up the pieces. I am ok. I was wounded, but I continue to heal.

“O LORD my God, I called out to you for help, and you healed me.” ~ Psalms 30:3

It’s been 5 1/2 years since my husband left and I am still finding my way. At times, I feel like I only have one eye because the process of moving on has been extremely slow. I find myself bumping into obstacles along the way (breast cancer, health issues, employment) but my trust keeps building as I accept what life has imposed on me. 

Slowly, but surely, I am accepting what God has allowed. I am learning to say, “not my will, but yours be done”. I abandon myself to having only “one eye” and trusting that my heavenly Father will take care to lead me. Inspired by the love of my family and friends, I see where God can make good out of everything that happens to us in life. 

After the “incident” when my dog was attacked, I found out how much my two daughters really loved this dog. Their steadfast care for their pet is never ending.

The same has been true for me. God has shown me his tremendous love through his many blessings. I never knew there was so much love to be had from our heavenly Father. His love and his grace has allowed me to move on, to see myself through His eyes and realize he has a plan for me. He is there. 

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