Every morning the first thing I do is get myself a cup of coffee and sit and read the Bible. I do this before I do anything else because this is where my hope comes from.
Last Sunday morning, after my cup of coffee, I went over to a friend’s house for a Pilates class. My friend is in the process of getting her certification to become a Pilates instructor and I am one of her students. I am getting free classes so she can earn her practice hours toward certification.
After the class, we chatted a while and then I left and knew I needed to run by the grocery store. I couldn’t decide which grocery store to go to but decided on the one closest to my house. As I took in the freshness of the Sunday morning drive and enjoyed the scenery with few cars on the road — it suddenly all ended. Right next to me one car over sat my ex-husband and his new girlfriend. Ugh!
Really, Lord? You allowed this to happen? You allowed me to see the man I was married to for 20 years cheerfully smile with his (much younger) new girlfriend sitting next to him? Where were they going at 10:30 on Sunday morning? Had she slept over at his apartment? All these thoughts ruined what I had just had my mind on — the beauty of the scenery and nature on this street.
Was this coincidental or had God placed them there just at this perfect moment for me to encounter? What was on God’s heart that he wanted me to know? I was sad because since the divorce I have concentrated on getting my career re-started, I’ve spent almost 2 years getting over breast cancer and I’ve raised two daughters. I have not had time to develop a relationship with a boyfriend — nor has God brought anyone into my life.
How I wish I could turn back the hands of time by 6 years. How I wish I could go back to being innocent and naive before the affair, the cancer and the death of my mother. But I can’t.
The next morning, I got up and fixed myself a cup of coffee. I knew I had to read my Bible because without that, all would be lost. I follow the daily readings from the Catholic calendar and here is what I read on Monday morning:
“Jesus answered them and said, Amen, amen, I say to you, you are looking for me not because you saw signs but because you ate the loaves and were filled. Do not work for food that perishes but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him the Father, God, has set his seal.” John 6:26-28
That was my message. God wanted me to know that I am to know him and that he will never perish. He is eternal life. All the things of this world will end but he will remain. I am to set my sights on him.
And this is where my hope comes from … hope and a cup of coffee.